Sometimes when I get upset, something inside of me shuts down. I feel like I should be crying or screaming or something but I don’t because I’m turned off. I go silent and don’t talk very much, just looking at people. Thinking so much that I could drive myself crazy. It’s the kind of upset that confuses me and makes me want to curl up and sleep it off. I stay fixed like this until the hurt runs away. Sometimes it feels like it’s never going to go.

that's just life.

Sometimes I wish life had a pause button. I would even settle for a slow down button. It seems like time is just flying by lately. And I hate it. I hate the thought of feeling empty again. The feeling you get when someone that was there everyday for a long time isnt there anymore. It's like someone punched you in the stomach and it comes on fast. The feeling of limitless and emptiness because that person isn't nearby anymore. There's nothing more comforting than knowing the person you need most is able to be there of you need them. But that's beig taken away from me by a monster called pharmacy school. This isn't intended to make anyone feel bad because of course you cant help having to leave. Nevertheless, it still hurts and will take some getting used to. I dont think I ever fully get used to it. I'm dreading it like I dread taking a medicine I don't like. It might as well be cherry flavored. I don't know what I'll do. Probably be okay until they're gone and then break down like always. No time ever seems enough. The easiest thing to do would be to end it all. But i can't. I would still be miserable that way. So, I guess it's just a lose lose situation. I guess that's just life.

It's the scariest thing ever to realize how much someone means to you.  When it hits you, all these thoughts and questions run through your mind at once.  A sad emotion even starts to creep on you slowly, inch by inch, as you start to wonder.  What if things don't work out?  How are you possibly going to live without them?  Someone that was once a stranger is now the person you know like the back of your hand.  Someone you once had no emotions for, now has the power to break your heart.  Someone you never used to hang out with, now owns most of your time.  Someone you never thought you'd love, now owns your entire heart.  Someone you once lived without is someone you now wish to hold onto forever.

No matter what happens, I will always be your best friend and anything you need me to be.

I didn’t plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I’ll never forget a single moment of it.

When I see someone I hate I'm like :